Pop Japan

Known for being a country full of tradition, Japan has also eventually etched some customs in terms of love. As the love month continues to make you fall in love, let us discuss a topic that fills each anime and J-drama fan’s stomach with delightful butterflies: none other than the term, kokuhaku.

What is kokuhaku?

The word kokuhaku is composed of 2 Japanese characters, koku which means “to announce” or “to reveal,” and haku which means “white.” Putting them together, you get a literal meaning of ”white revelation” or “pure revelation.” True enough, the word kokuhaku means “confession,” an event where a person confesses their feelings to another.

This romantic confession is seen as a way to ask someone out exclusively, or to date them in a proper ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship, which marks the beginning of the two person becoming an official couple.

It is also important to note that once your kokuhaku has been accepted, then going out with another man/woman will obviously mean cheating on your partner.

How to confess

Confessions like this can be done in different ways, including a direct approach or asking a third-party to relay your feelings instead. As kokuhaku requires a lot of courage and preparation (in case you might get rejected), some people can ask their friends to do it for them.

Sending a love letter is also an option and is a lot more noble than involving another person in your confession.

But of course, if you wanted to sound more sincere and is expecting to be taken seriously, telling them your feelings in person is the best way to accomplish it.

Why confessions are rejected

A kokuhaku doesn’t automatically mean that you’d get to officially date the person you confess your feelings to, of course, as they could not share the same feelings that you have for them.

You might think that this is the only reason why, but there are a lot more out there that may account for your rejection.

Confessing through text is an example of a huge ‘no-no’ when attempting a kokuhaku as its seen as impolite and rude. Although confessions and breakups through text are increasing, it still gives the impression that you’re not serious about what you’ve said.

Another example would be handing out a long love letter to someone you’re not acquainted with.

If you aren’t close to the subject of your love and adoration, then you should probably think twice before writing them a ridiculously long love letter about the things you like about them. If possible, put that idea on hold until you close the distance between you two as to make sure that you wouldn’t appear like a stalker to the person you like.

Getting rejected is one thing, getting labeled as a stalker is another thing.

This system of love confession might seem a bit weird at first, especially for those unfamiliar with the culture—but if dating in Japan is considered closely, it would actually help people better on determining where they stand in a relationship.

Maybe the good thing about kokuhaku is that it rids couples of the awkward and eventual pain of having an ambiguous relationship. Or is it?